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Seta 3 Perceived Reality

The document discusses the importance of relationship management and attitude in business success. It argues that perceived reality is reality, so one must know what others think before knowing what to do. It then provides steps to evaluate and adjust one's attitude to better manage relationships, including using a "relationship temperature thermometer" to measure perceived reality and make adjustments. It outlines seven "relationship temperature controls" including responding to criticism, empowering others, demonstrating authority versus control, emotional discipline, handling fears, demonstrating compassion, and exhibiting humility.

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Return on Relationship It's not what I'm doing, it's what you think I'm doing.
Relationship Management The single most important measure of business success in the 21 st Century Every circle of influence requires relationship management Perceived reality is reality I have to know what you think before I can know what I need to do
Relationship Management The simple steps for managing perceived reality It starts – and ends – with me
First Things First The single most important ingredient in relationship influence is: ATTITUDE
Attitude Evaluation 1. The Reality Check Am I getting the responses I really want?
Attitude Evaluation 2. Responsibility Check What attitude signals am I sending out?
Attitude Evaluation 3. Adjustment Check What can I do to reset the relationship temperature?
 
Relationship Temperature Thermometer: Measuring Perceived Reality Thermostat: Adjusting Perceived Reality Standard Temperature and Pressure: Set by the vertical relationship – the BIGGER values of my life
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism
Response to Criticism How much of your personal self-worth is subject to the input of others? How well do you “measure up”? Have you established a baseline that depends only on your vertical relationship? Do you have your values in place? Do you encourage feedback from all?
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism Empowering Others
Empowering Others Empowering means transferring what I do and what I know to someone else Compliance is not empowering Have I made a tangible commitment to show someone else how to do what I do? Who is my apprentice? “I call you friends”
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism Empowering Others Authority vs. Control
Authority vs. Control Authority – what is given to me by another De jure or de facto The essence of influence is invitation Every follower is be a volunteer “Come after me”
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism Empowering Others Authority vs. Control Emotional Discipline
Emotional Discipline Reaction vs. Response An attitude of identification Do I first ask “How do they feel?” The Fearless Moral Inventory “counting the cost”
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism Empowering Others Authority vs. Control Emotional Discipline Handling Fears
Handling Fears The biggest roadblock to successful relationships Fear is a one-way mirror Fear-based relationships avoid truth and hide feelings If you really knew me, you wouldn’t love me “Do you love me?”
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism Empowering Others Authority vs. Control Emotional Discipline Handling Fears Demonstrating Compassion
Demonstrating Compassion Not sympathy, not empathy, not proxy delegation Greek – gut reaction Why I must act! How am I demonstrating the heart of compassion? “Jesus wept.”
7 Relationship Temperature Controls Response to Criticism Empowering Others Authority vs. Control Emotional Discipline Handling Fears Demonstrating Compassion Exhibiting Humility
Exhibiting Humility The Level 5 Leader Not a state of being (character) Hebrew – ana = act of the will (decision) Putting the highest value into action The serving leader
What does Upside Down Leadership look like? I decide To make You My friend Regardless of your response Friendship: It’s my call!
FRIENDSHIP THE 1% SOLUTION How can I make a 1% difference TODAY ? St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words”